Good thing I met Jesus

There was a time back in my not-so-glorious pre-teen years when I fell in LOVE with the idea of a prince rescuing me. It was probably induced by my pile of junior-high girly fiction novels and my older stepsisters latest Highschool romance. Regardless, I soon began to write letters to my future husband. I wrote to him asking him dumb questions about his eye color or favorite books as if he was gonna slip me an answer under my pillow one night. I told him all my latest drama and my current relationship status (always promising that any boy I liked was only for fun and not long term of course). And now that I look back on it, I was really just desperate for some type of communication with my future. I wanted a promise. I was seeking something bigger and better and longer term than the temporary lifestyle around me.

As the time passed, and my relationship with Jesus began, I started addressing my letters to Jesus. It turned into journaling. And now, as I flip through past diaries and notebooks, I can see the slow change from “Dear Diary” to “Dear Future Husband” to “Dear Jesus”. And now that my Journals are filled with “Dear Jesus” I can see that my heart truly always desired Him. Not a prince charming, but my creator. I didn’t want to talk to my future husband about what I had eaten that day or about my parents divorce, I really just wanted a close relationship with something that gave me hope and a future.

Good thing I met Jesus, any man would have quite the heavy burden dealing with all my junk over the years. Especially if I began dumping it on him at age 12… I could be quite dramatic at times.

And that’s the thing. NO MAN could handle that. Not even a super attractive, sweet and sensitive yet strong and dependable, superman/superhero, respecting, loving, God-honoring man. And IF (which he cant) he could, then there would be no need for the cross. SO it all comes together. Jesus is sufficient. His cross and His love and His promise for my life is sufficient and it is all that I have to depend on. I sell myself short by trusting anyone else with my hopes and desires. Even a future ‘anyone else’. The Lord didn’t place this desire in my heart so that the suspense for prince charming would build, he placed it there so that I would completely and authentically fall in love with what He has promised. And I would rely on him DAILY… HOURLY for strength. He shifts my hearts affections. He captivates.

So, now. Jesus is the one I turn off my car radio and vent to when I just cant seem to make it all work. Hes the receiver of my yelling and my blabbering about any and all crisis. He listens to my heart at 3AM and reads my letters of confusion as I spill onto pages in my journal. He encourages me when I struggle to follow His will and He smiles with me when I realize He was right (which is always..duh). He sat with me through my first night alone in the hospital and He held my hand every time they came to take blood. He has been faithfully at my side through the entire last months of sickness and healing in all parts of my life. I am extremely thankful for my renewed posture of daily dependence in Him.

I am HIS Beloved Daughter. And for now, He is the only prince charming I need.