I just drove away from training camp this morning and I’m not sure if I have ever been this emotionally and physically exhausted in my life. It was an amazing week of meeting my squad, learning my countries and getting team assignments. I love them all and I cannot wait to see the way The Lord uses these relationships for His Kingdom.
Team Zion of Ally, Mandolyn, Timmy, Andrew, Mackenzie, Riley and Brittany will be heading to Honduras, The Philippines and an undisclosed location in Africa in about 6 weeks! This life is amazing.
There is so much that Jesus has shown me this past week and much of it comes from revealing things about myself. This afternoon, as I try to scrub off the stains of lipstick that we used as war paint and get used to the new mix of accents I have picked up, I am being revealed a new truth about my identity in Christ.
I am in love with the thought of running away. From everywhere and anywhere. It doesn’t matter if I am in the most beautiful and perfect place in this world, I still think running away would be even more gorgeous. I find myself wanting to put on running shoes, leave everything behind and just go.
This goes back pretty far, I remember packing up my tiny rolling suitcase when I was upset and swearing my sister to secrecy as I explained that I was simply running away from home. I remember begging my friends to leave their houses at sleepovers to walk to a nearest store or creek or playground. I remember “running away” with my boyfriend to other states for vacation. My heart is eclipsed with the romantic idea of leaving it all behind for one grand escape. I am never completely content with where I am, I always desire more. I want somewhere farther away.
God revealed this to me throughout training camp. Discontentedness with where The Lord has me can become an issue and I constantly have to battle my desire for someplace new with my desire to trust Jesus with where He has me. He is in complete control of my life and wanting something different and constant change is contrary to His plan.
Yet, Jesus does something amazing when he teaches me things. He calls out the ugly but then magnifies the Christ-like beauty in it as well. The Lord doesn’t want me to run away from the present and the plan, but He does want me to strive for Home. HOME! Home is my resting place, beside the heavenly Father himself. It is the one presence that I will never want to run away from. It has been the one place that I never realized I was actually running away to. I didn’t want that other state or that creek or that person created in a fantasy, I wanted Him. I still do. And by the grace of God, He has revealed that true desire to me this week!
I am not running away to Honduras, The Philippines, and Africa. I am running WITH Jesus to his people. I am running towards home. Such a beautiful lesson to learn.
